Want a laugh? Watch couples argue.
Couples fighting is the greatest source of comedy on the planet. Two people occupy the same space — a relationship — but in that moment, they both have completely different ideas for what should be happening in it. Every couple fight is like two shipwrecked idiots, arguing over how to row a lifeboat.
All couples’ fights boil down to this: “I just want you to be a completely different person. Is that too much to ask?”
My wife and I haven’t had a “new” fight in years. We don’t fight often, but they’re all the same. We argue about money in the same way, every time. We argue about my moodiness. We argue about her temper the same way people fight about global warming. I say it exists and have overwhelming evidence on my side. Then she says: “oh, that’s not real”.
Why do couples have the same fights over and over again? It’s insane. We are asking our partner to just become a different human. Is anything more pointless? We know exactly who our long-term partners are. They’re the person who behaves that way in that particular situation, every time. Arguing about why they do it is pointless.
On some level, maybe it’s comforting. Part of you likes the occasional fight, because it’s reassuring that you can still get on someone’s nerves. You’re still confounding someone. There is still some mystery to you. My parents have been married for 40 years. I once asked my mother what their secret was. Her answer: “complete and utter incompatibility”.
